Speechless

So much for the farm. And probably the blog.

Would You Like Cayenne Pepper With That Salad?

After much internet research and contemplation of all varieties of urine (no really) to keep the rabbits out, I've settled on the following practices:
1) copious amounts of cayenne pepper on any plant that looks delicious
2) garlic powder around the perimeter of the farm
3) encouraging Maisy and Rosa to pee anywhere near the farm as often as possible
4) plugging up any holes in the fence that seem inviting
5) this weekend, extending the fence by burying it and also making it taller

Here's the cayenne pepper in action:



During my morning visit to the farm, Maisy and I spied a chipmunk in the farm, which has led to the additional need for wire mesh to go over the fence as well. Who knew farming would be as much about growing things as it is keeping other things from growing?

In other news during the hiatus, this shiny piece of metal combined with a pissed off delivery guy and my foot resulted in four stitches and tetanus shot. I'm on the mend now, though.



Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 89F
Yesterday's low: 61F
Warnings: Wildlife alert!
Mood of the farm: spicy
Reason to consider a new career: dealing with animal problems is annoying

Animals Abound

1. Cute while on this side of the fence. (Nice rock sculpture, eh?)
2. There's been a lot of mating going on where the farm is concerned. Here's the thing. For centuries, farmers have appreciated the need of all species to shag. It's natural, and farmers are all about nature. But the real question is this: must they nibble on the zucchini and cucumber leaves while going about their business?

On a more serious note--does anyone know what these are? Are they, as I fear, the dreaded striped cucumber beetles? And if so, does anyone have any ideas about what to do about them while there are only a few? I'm thinking pull them off by hand and hope to keep the numbers small. Thoughts?

3. Oh yeah. Also, here's how awesome the farm looks! Well, except for that crappy part on the right front side. Science-in-action post coming soon in explanation.

Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 79F
Yesterday's low: 61F
Warnings: Another great day for growing.
Mood of the farm: rolling its collective eye at all the mating ("kids these days!")
Fun fact of the day: Technically speaking, the only things growing in the garden that aren't fruits (besides the herbs) are spinach, lettuce, carrots, and onions. No really. Think back to 5th grade science.

George and MiniChuck, Ready for Their Closeups

1) I'd like to officially welcome George to the Farm. He's going to be a real help.

2) It's a member of the Chuck Family! We had a little photo shoot yesterday, and I think this one really does MiniChuck justice.



There have been a variety of other wildlife events on the farm lately, but they are far far far too disgusting for me to relay them. Farming is a dirty job in ways I never anticipated. Thank you to Farmer/Consumer H for braving the stench and demonstrating her, um, disposal skills. Also thanks to Farmer/Consumer N for putting the Farm to good use. Farm basil + caprese salad = happy bellies. That's the math lesson of the day.

I'll be on a pilgrimage to find Dunkin Donuts coffee, I mean doing Important Scholarly Work. See you Wednesday, when I will finally post the Herb Report.


Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 81F
Yesterday's low: 59F
Warnings: Pollen Alert
Mood of the farm: Thinking about flowers, in light of all that pollen, I hope!
Reason to consider a new career: Weak stomach in face of Wild Non-life Stench. Ugh.

Everybody Loves a Volunteer

Okay... Here is your volunteer update.

Volunteer #1. Pulled.

Volunteer #2. Pulled.

Volunteer #3. Also pulled.

Volunteer #4. Definitely pulled.

Volunteer #5. Not pulled, for curiosity and other scientific purposes.

Well, the volunteer situation was not really as exciting as I had hoped. Suburban Farmer and some other Anonymous individual had it right about the weeds. And about 1, 2 (possibly), and 5 being the same plant. Though I do think it is interesting how much smaller #2 is than 1 and 5... Anyway, much as I'd like to give the big victory to Anonymous because s/he complimented my pie, I'll have to give it to Suburban Gardener, because I actually know who she is. Though for the record, two days in a row where I admit Suburban Gardener is right or the winner is really pushing it. Don't get used to it, SG! If the Powell Procedure was involved, I'd totally be right.

Hey--in other news. H managed to get a great photo of the albino squirrel that has been hanging around in the general vicinity of the farm lately. Evidence and commentary, particularly regarding the special ability of the albino to make dogs go crazy available here.

Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 83F
Yesterday's low: 52F
Warnings: Summer might be here for real.
Mood of the farm: Patiently growing.
Reason to consider a new career: Farmer has been known to get a little, uh, disregulated in regards to the Farm.

Ask the Farmer

And now it's time for another installment of "Ask the Farmer." Nutz4Nuts writes in:

As you know, the trees got a late start this year because the weather has been so cold. While waiting for the trees to grow, I blasted through the rest of my buried winter supply of acorns. Bit of a binge, actually... Anyway, now I don't have any food, and I was wondering if you could advise me about where I might find some cilantro and tender, new tomato plant leaves. Thanks in advance!

Well, Nutz4Nuts, I have NO IDEA why you would write to me about this dilemma! I have NO cilantro for you! And I have NO tender tomato plants either. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. Not on the farm. Not on the porch. You should try Iowa. Or Wisconsin. Don't even bother trying my neighborhood! We don't like cilantro OR tomato plants here!!



Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 69F
Yesterday's low: 55F
Warnings: Wildlife alert.
Mood of the farm: celebratory, re: the impending PhD of Anonymous K!
Reason to consider a new career: farmer may not be smarter than the wildlife...

MiniChuck Antics

Friends. There has been another MiniChuck sighting, which coincided with a piece in the New York Times (read it here) about the Trials of small, community farmers in dealing with a variety of wildlife pests. Actually, they weren't really Trials, because most of those folks felt like killing small animals was No Big Deal (the squirrel-drowning lady really crossed a line, as far as I'm concerned).

Anyway, this brings me to the latest adventures of MiniChuck. Imagine my surprise when I got an email from N Wednesday morning, with an official MiniChuck sighting. N was making coffee, and spied MiniChuck out of the kitchen window. Clearly, MiniChuck has no brains, because anyone with brains knows not to interact in any way with N before she's had her coffee. Which is why the cat and the dog were both sound asleep. So N runs upstairs to get the camera to document this event, and on her way back down, Girlie Cat wakes up and meows. MiniChuck, it turns out, fears Girlie's vicious guard-cat meow (too bad Maisy isn't similarly afflicted), and turned tail to scurry away. N acquired the following evidence of the scurrying away:


Before we get on with the story, let's clear this up. This photo makes MiniChuck look a LOT smaller than in real life. Seriously. The Chuck is Large and Intimidating. Okay, on with the story. MiniChuck attempted to run its usual path through where the farm is now to the RV under which it lives. What's that you say? Didn't Farmer Gower recently put up a fence to keep MiniChuck from ravaging the veggies? You'd be correct. You should also be glad, after reading that NYT article, that I didn't take more drastic measures, apparently. Anyway, MiniChuck goes to farm. MiniChuck encounters fence. MiniChuck paces back and forth, ponders what the world is coming to. MiniChuck climbs the mulch pile and considers impersonating a flying squirrel to leap into the garden. MiniChuck gives up because Farmer Gower's fence is invincible. That's right. MINI-CHUCK GIVES UP. And eventually goes around the garage and through the back secret passageway to its under-RV home. Never touching the farm.
N said it best. Farmer Gower: 1. MiniChuck: 0. For now anyway.



Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 74F
Yesterday's low: 63F
Warnings: The sun might actually shine today.
Mood of the farm: Hotly debating the best design for an arc.
Reason to consider a new career: I don't really think I could drown a squirrel.

Projects on the Farm

The Good
Quite a few things have been happening on the farm in the last few days. More things are sprouting (spinach, look far right), first and foremost, which is a nice little boost of confidence for this farmer. Also, the mint apple plant seems to have risen from the almost-dead for good, and after removing some of the almost-frost-nipped leaves, looks pretty good!


The Bad
The woodchuck (aka MiniChuck), on the other hand, has been finding new and inventive ways to bring trials to the life of the farmer. As if the hissing and staring down wasn't enough! Now, MiniChuck has decided to sample the watermelon plants. According to MiniChuck, three plants, three snacks:








The Ugly
Now, let's all get on the same page here for a minute. I know this "fence" isn't going to win any awards anytime soon. Although, I did take a "green approach" by using some of the rocks I found while prepping the area to block some of the gaps in the fencing. *ahem* However, if I'm really lucky, it might just keep MiniChuck from snacking on the leaves. And, more importantly, snacking on the farmer.














(as usual, click for a bigger picture...)








Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 72F
Yesterday's low: 53F
Warnings: None. It's finally sunny!
Mood of the farm: feeling safe and secure with the new fencing
Reason to consider a new career: let's just say my fencing skills leave something to be desired...

Scary Things

Two things on the farm have instilled fear in this farmer.











1.) Marmota monax. Has hastened the need for installing the chicken wire fencing this weekend by: staring down the farmer, hissing at the farmer. 'Nuff said.










2.) A worm, unknown species. Potentially a baby hornworm. Eating a cherry tomato plant, slowly but surely. Luckily, I spoke to a gardening expert (E. Hart, for those of you who are jealous), who suggested spraying the tomato plant with a homemade mixture of mashed up garlic and cayenne pepper in water. Of course, this is on tap for tomorrow.

Right now, due to unseasonably cool temperatures, cloudy skies, a long morning of doggie daycare interviewing, and some pressing pbfilter work, Maisy, the unknown worm (in ziplock bag), and I are hard at work sleeping, crawling, and data processing, respectively.

Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 69F
Yesterday's low: 43F
Watches: potential thunderstorm
Mood of the farm: secretive!
Reason to consider a new career: Farmer couldn't wait to know what was happening underground and was reduced to uncovering a Wando pea seed. Verdict: there's a tiny root! Other verdict: Farmer needs to grow some patience, stat.