Archie and Me

Well folks, I officially accomplished everything on my state fair list, including seeing 4 piglets and a calf (!!) being born. It was really something. Tomorrow I'll post the food roundup of all the deliciousness, but today I'd like to introduce you to Archie.

As you know, next on my priorities list after seeing animals being born was talking to a real farmer/gardener and asking my question about what you actually cover your crops with during Threat of Frost. Sadly, with lows in the 40s and the first frost already having happened in northern Minnesota last week, this question is a little more pressing than I'd like it to be.
Here's Archie in action. This lady had questions about squash, and Archie hopped right up from behind is his booth, and walked her over to the vegetable display area to demonstrate some particular squash features he was talking about. Guys, Archie is about 87 years old and relies heavily on a cane, so this is really quite a lot of dedication to squash.

Anyway, Archie looked at me skeptically at first--a young whipper-snapper trying to give the Master Gardener a hard time. But after I started asking my questions, he quickly realized he was dealing with a serious, if inexperienced, farmer.

Question #1:
When they say "cover your crops" under threat of frost, what exactly do you cover them with?
Archie's expert advice:
Cheesecloth, or an old sheet. Basically, anything other than plastic.

Question #2:
I'm growing watermelons (Archie: "Good for you!") and the melons are small and the leaves are starting to get a little yellow. What am I doing wrong?
Archie's follow up:
What kind of seeds did you plant?
Me, embarrassed:
That's the only thing I didn't plant from seed, and Linder's didn't know.
Archie:
Well, it's probably a small melon. There's a variety that gets between the size of a softball and a little smaller than a soccer ball (that fits with what I have), so you're probably growing those. Also, don't worry about the leaves--it's late in the summer, and the plants are getting tired.
[Note: Archie's advice is just like the giant lesson I've learned over and over again this summer: Mother Nature knows what she's doing, so simmer down and find some patience.]

Question #3:
My cucumber plants have produced a ton of cucumber all summer (Archie: "Well that's impressive!" Clearly, he was catching on to just what a novice I am...), but now there are only female flowers and no male flowers. What's the deal?
Archie's expert advice:
Mother Nature has had enough, young lady. The plants are done.

Well, I must get off to school for the first official thing of the school year. Another activity that relies highly on routines and changes with the seasons, just like farming. Yes! Food report tomorrow. Oh, and maybe I'll actually talk about the farm too, which doesn't know what to do with itself after 3.06" of rain yesterday(!)--so much for that drought.

Farm Vitals
Yesterday's high: 75F
Yesterday's low: 60F
Warnings: Back to school alert
Mood of the farm: Waterlogged, but happy about it
Reason to consider a new career: I want to be like Archie when I'm old and retired.